A little like scrambled eggs.

Or at least that's what my mind feels like! Jumbled. Cloudy. Overflown. I used to stand a lot taller than this, but as life has gotten harder, and busier, I've lost a lot of who I was in the daily grind of it all. Being 22 years old, A mom, and a wife. No one to blame but myself for my choices. This isn't a pity party. Nor would I ever want anyone to feel sorry for me. I, Shannon have made decisions and choices that have put me where I am today. Would I change it? No. Why? Because I have never struggled so hard, loved more, or tried harder in my life. For anything. And I am so proud of how far I have come. Some situations were thrown at me, some I chose. Sometimes I did give up, but sometimes I gave it my all. And that's life. God throws things in my path, to throw me off for a little while, but never anything too big for me to handle. Some days I feel strong. Like I could take on a million and one things. Realizing most of the time I tried, that I wasn't Super Woman. And I needed to slow down. Some days (most days lately), I think I can't take on much more than my daily tasks. People have told me that I can't do life alone. I know they are right. But how do I change? How can I let people in to help me heal? I know there are and have always been strong and very humble people in my life to help me when things are tough. But I tend to push people away who try to help. I know that I have caused damage to myself and others around me, because of this trait I posses. I know because of the trails I have gone through at an early age, I felt like I had to take on so much more for everyone. And never allowing myself to let others help me. Carrying the weight and heavy burdens of past and present problems of others. Thinking that if I didn't carry burdens, maybe no one could really truly love me. Yet thinking how unfair it would be if someone tried to carry or feel mine. I have only lived 22 years of life. My heart on the other hand, has done 40. I was put in situations that I had no control over, and I have put myself into situations where even though I made it, I still couldn't control it. After I had created the damage, I couldn't rewind time and fix what I had done. It's almost as if I am a glass cup that has been dropped. Every time picking up the pieces and gluing myself together again. But some pieces were lost. And no matter how I tried to glue that cup back together, if I filled it, it would never stay full.